Who Am I?

My name is Otis Alfonzia Jones, I'm a senior majoring in Mass Communications. I'm a vibrant ball of energy who loves to smile and make other people happy. People always wonder why I'm so jolly and happy. I haven't always been like this. I come from a big city of Miami, Fl., where you can get sucked up out of life. I have three siblings: two brothers and one sister. I had so much weight on my shoulders from my family to make it. It took me a lot of time to get to a peaceful place where I can breathe. I had to learn how to forgive which was hard. When I was eleven years old I was raped by a neighborhood friend, again at the age of 13 by two individuals I don't know. It put me in a dark place in my life and I started to revolt. I tried to commit suicide numerous of times though I wasn't able to succeed. I begin to accept my truths and deal with fact that I was into males. I was raised without a father which caused me to engage in promiscuity acts with males. I was 14 years old as a male escort. I was doing what I needed to get the attention I wanted from a father. While I was selling my body  I was lost and assumed this is what I really wanted to do. I was lost and alone at this point of my life. For some reason I knew that education was my escape. I tried the whole dating thing, so I went out and found a girlfriend. She was the my love and for a moment I felt as if I was complete. We started having intercourse and she became pregnant (with twins.) I was so scared and didn't know what to do. She ended up getting an abortion which was a relief for me. Around the end of our relationships I started to pursue relationships with men. It wasn't the best in the beginning but I've learned a lot about myself. It was different laying down with a man but even harder to have a relationship with them. While escorting I didn't have to hear the worrds I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Dating males was difficult my first love died withing the 2nd year of us datiung. Then, I entered my first abusive relationship with a maniac. I honestly know what its like to love someone who is putting their hands on you. It's the make-up that has you feeling like you're worth a whole lot more. People around me was not influential for me to lean on or talk to, so drugs helped. I grew up thinking I was by myself that no one was in my corner and people didn't want to see me succeed. Though I dealt with so much I had to forgive. I forgave my mother, my father, the men that took my innocence, the customers I had dealt business with (escorting) and myself. It was hard but I did not for anyone but for me. So I started to shape my future around my past and give back to the youth exactly what I needed growing up. I can't leave this part of me behind simply because it makes up who I am. I'm in my last year of college without the baggage and stress on my back. I can honsetly say education made a huge impact on my life.